If you can't say anything nice...

We, as human beings, are judgmental. It is hard to step out in public without someone judging some aspect of your life, whether they know you or not. Does this make it right? Does the fact that we are born judgmental make it ok to denounce what other people look and act like? Some people argue that everyone judges and are judged in return; therefore it is no big deal. The problem is that nobody knows when a seemingly harmless judgment could have potentially unhealthy effects.

Alastair Macaulay, a dance critic for the New York Times, recently wrote a review on The Nutcracker that was performed at the New York City Ballet. What probably for him was a run-of-the-mill review ended up sparking a huge controversy when Macaulay stated that Jenifer Ringer, a professional ballerina who played the sugar plum fairy, “looked as if she’d eaten one sugar plum too many.” Besides the fact that Ringer is in actuality stick thin, she once suffered from an eating disorder, so Macaulay, along with his statement were rightfully torn apart.

Although Jenifer appeared on MSNBC’s Today Show and eloquently responded to this statement without ill will or the need for an apology, it did not satisfy the outrage the public shared. Many of Ringer’s fans have fired back at Macaulay critically, calling him “insensitive and cruel” for saying something like that about a women who has openly talked about the struggles she had with anorexia and bulimia.

A story like this causes you to wonder why judgments are even necessary and if a line should be drawn. Should it be ok for a critic or any other person to say anything that he or she pleases without consequences? It seems as though our freedom of speech has been abused. Nowadays it is more like the freedom to degrade people. So often we say and do things to people that we might never have a second thought about. Meanwhile, to that person, it might make a huge impact. It might be, as in Ringer’s case, bringing back an old insecurity or possibly starting a brand new one.

The old saying goes, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” So why is it necessary to get our thoughts out about things at the expense of others? Macaulay could have written a review of The Nutcracker without picking apart the physical features of the performers. Instead he added one irrelevant sentence in what appears to be an attempt to not only criticize but also be hateful. If this is indeed the result of our human nature then maybe it is time for a change.

Maybe we should evaluate whether or not what we think is actually of any importance and whether it is healthy for someone to hear before we freely speak it. If we begin to fairly think about the impact of our remarks then maybe our biological nature to judge and victimize can be replaced with the positive quality of uplifting people.

A link to The Today Show interview...

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/40639920/ns/today-today_people/